My name is Kiri and I blog over at Wonderfully Random, as the name suggests my blog is full of the random things that I enjoy or have experienced day to day. I am so blessed to be the wife to the most patient husband ever Luke, and we have the most adorable 11 month old son Nathanael.
Like Rachel I have found that having become a Mummy I am continuously learning from my son, I do wonder whether I have taught him anything! It is amazing how God uses our children to impart Truth into our lives.
One of the things I have discovered since having Nathanael is that I have anxious tendencies. I am sure this wasn’t a surprise to some but to me this was a revelation to acknowledge this vulnerability. I have Type A characteristics: I am stressy, impatient, organized, and all of that good stuff. I tend not to like change, who am I kidding? I hate change and I like to be in control.
I think that this heightened when my Mum passed away when I was 9. There are lots of things that a daughter needs from her Mum around that age and more just before she is a teenager (yes my Dad gave me the birds and the bees talk ... awkward) I missed the shopping trips and the late night chats and although my Dad passed away by the time I was 21 I again missed the chats from my Mum on what it would be like to be a wife when I got married at 22.
I think I coped with all those “missed” days quite well; there is always something to distract you on days like graduation or prom or your wedding day to get caught up in the tinge of sadness. However I knew the sadness of not having a Mum would reoccur once I became a Mummy.
My husband is amazing, yet sometimes you just need your mum to tell you what that cough means on your baby, or what to use for cradle cap or to come around and let you have a nap while she plays with your son. I became anxious because I thought I didn’t have it in me to be the best Mum I can be without the support of my Mum. I want you to know, if you are in a similar situation that it is a Lie from the creator of all lies.
God has walked me through this journey into motherhood; he has supported me in so many tangible ways for instance Luke and I didn’t have to cook for over 3 weeks when we got out of hospital, He also blessed us with allowing Luke to take more time off work to support me.
The women in my church have been such spiritual warriors for me, I know they have been praying for me and I can’t thank them enough. When going to church and the swarm that surrounds a newborn I was always asked how I was doing, I was always included. I have received messages of encouragement and support, I have been given advice and practical help. In Titus 2 it says:
"Likewise, tell the older women to behave the way people leading a holy life should. They shouldn’t be slanderers or slaves to excessive drinking. They should teach what is good, thus training the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to take good care of their homes and submit to their husbands."
I am so blessed to have so many Titus 2 women in my church, I might not have my own Mum but I have a hundred or so Mums in my church who love and care for me and my family.
God has appointed you for exactly the time that you are in; he has given you enough resource and grace for the challenge ahead. Your struggle might not be about your ability to do something it may be something unrelated as we can go through a range of struggles in our lifetime.
I pray that you know this, as you go out like Rachel on your own mission, don’t stunt your spiritual walk and growth in God for anxiety or the fear that you won’t measure up. God loves you completely, warts and all, he already knows areas that you may have to grow in faith or patience or endurance. God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear and because Paul writes so more eloquently than I:
"Don’t worry about anything; on the contrary, make your requests known to God by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. Then God’s peace, passing all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with the Messiah Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)